This is my first post via the app on my iPhone. Because I’m in Germany. For work. Deal.
I have decided this saggy-titted fat business has gone on long enough. Yesterday I discovered, not for the first time, that I have developed a flab fold between my tits and the top of my belly. I’ve never really had an ass, but I also recently discovered cellulite down there.
Cellulite. On a man. A man who isn’t even morbidly obese yet.
Motherfucker. I’m so out of shape and gross I would have to get back into shape before I could go out whoring.
So I’m going to do it. Become shapely again. Not so I can solicit women of the night.
It’s because the apocalypse is coming, people. The horsemen are a-ridin’.
This is the year. I’m going to have to fight. Maybe kill. You know, for food? And to protect my family?
And that misshapen mass I saw in the hotel mirror last night?
He’s going down with the first run.
Wag the Dad
How are you going to survive the apocalypse? Any ideas?